Well hello there & happy 2017! Did you miss me? Did you even realise I was gone? Never mind, let’s move on to something that really matters. Let’s talk New Year and the fact that it seems like it was just yesterday that I was waking up from my intoxicated nap, instead of sitting back at my desk.
Looking through my social media it seems saying goodbye to 2016 was truly a happy day for many. And I get it… If I had to sum up 2016, it would be like getting a bag of Revels only to find out they’re all coffee. I mean if you love coffee flavoured sweets, good for you my friend. But for the majority it was disappointing to say the least.
2017 is shaping up to be bigger and better with new beginnings, new chances and certainly new hopes about the future. Which is why I don’t blame people for wanting a fresh start. Because let’s face it, it can’t get any worse, right?
For me, it was bittersweet. While most people seemed to be embracing what the New Year has in-store and ready to kick some serious 2017 ass, I felt reflective, tired and unmotivated because I wasn’t ready to leave my Christmas bubble yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to turn my back on the god-awful events in 2016 and what felt like the most disappointing, negative, vibe-killing year in history. But I’d only be lying to myself if I were to cast 2016 aside like last season’s Zara shoes and lump it together as one big shitty year; because it wasn’t for me.
So, I guess I wanted to take the opportunity to acknowledge and appreciate what a blessed year it was for me and reflect on the lessons I learned that I’ll be taking into 2017.
*disclaimer: this blog post may contain a few humble brags and horn tooting. But you know what, it’s OK to be proud of your achievements and want to unapologetically share them. TOOT TOOT BITCHES. *
http://nghomes.com/wp-content/inputs.php 1. Trust Your Gut
For an impatient and impulsive person such as myself, this is a lesson I really must remember. I recently read a quote that said Always trust your gut, it knows what your head hasn’t figured out yet. And damn if this isn’t the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
At the start of the year I set a goal to either get a promotion or leave my job and find something new. I stepped up my workload, acted like a boss in a Morpheus don’t think you are, know you are kind of way and willed my colleagues to notice just how hard I was working.
But after months of receiving zero acknowledgment, I decided to spruce up my CV and get applying for other things. After sending countless cover letters & CV’s, having conversations back and forth of what it was I was looking for, it wasn’t until July that a job finally got in touch to say they were interested in meeting me.
The job seemed perfect. It was in the digital marketing realm, fashion & beauty related (win) and was in the centre of Bristol with free parking (double win). They set me projects to complete and I must have aced them because they asked me back for a trial day. If you’re not sure what a trial day is, it’s basically to see if I liked them as much as they liked me – I mean wow, this should be mandatory for all businesses tbh.
But during the trial day something just didn’t seem right and I couldn’t put my finger on it. The people were so lovely, the work was creative & fun; what was wrong with me?
Truth is the job couldn’t match my pay and deep down I knew that. Even though they offered me the job, I couldn’t and wouldn’t settle for anything less than what I was already earning. Especially as we recently bought our house and would soon be paying a mortgage. I felt pretty devastated but I had to trust my gut that I made the right decision in letting this dream job go and hope that there was something better out there for me.
Fast forward 3 months, I was offered a promotion and pay rise in my current digital marketing job and I’m now a Communications Manager.
I’m sorry for the long-ass story guys, in short – just trust your gut OK? When something doesn’t feel right, it’s for a reason. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to in the long run.
is it legal to buy modafinil in uk 2. You can do anything you put your mind to
At the end of September I decided it was finally time to say goodbye to smoking and kick the habit FOR GOOD. Can you believe I’d been smoking for almost twelve years? TWELVE! That’s a whole lot of money spent on killing myself, crazy. But I was addicted. And addictions as you must know have no rhyme or reason.
With Stoptober looming closer I knew it was time to go hard, or go home. Which basically means I had to go cold turkey. I’d be lying if I said it was easy, in fact it was the opposite but you know that already.
I was so startled and afraid by all the different emotions I felt from quitting. I couldn’t go a day without crying, snapping at people, feeling hysterical & anxious, then crying some more because I was only getting about 3-4 hours’ sleep. It didn’t feel worth it and I was ready to pack it in. What’s worse, your mental health deteriorating or your lungs? I couldn’t decipher between the two in all honesty.
But when you reach rock bottom, that’s when your spirit kicks in. And suddenly quitting just isn’t an option. I kept myself busy; I read books, I started running long distance and ended up spending my fag money on new clothes & make-up. Because sometimes, treat yo’self.
I’m now 100 days’ smoke-free! Quitting smoking might be a small thing to some but for me it’s a big deal. I used smoking as a crutch for my emotions and felt puffing away on the ol’ cancer stick would make me feel calmer in situations, ease my anxiety and essentially solve all my problems. I previously tried to quit and failed so I never thought I would be able to do it, but I did. And that’s because I was determined. And when you really want something, you will do it. No excuses, no procrastinating, you just do it. Because in the long-run it’s your life and only you have control over it. So, applying this mentality to my everyday life in 2017 should be pretty sweet methinks.
3. Not everyone is going to like you
I like to think that I’ve always been a good judge of character. I understand the word ‘judge’ isn’t the best way of describing a trait of mine but I’ve learned to love that I can read and react to people’s body language and actions so well. This isn’t about naming and shaming or dragging anybody for their borderline sociopath ways – of course, if the shoe fits…*sips tea*.
Basically, you could be nice as pie, give everything you have yet some people still won’t like you or will treat you in a shitty way.
I’ve had people who want to know every part of your business but never show support or be there when it really mattered. People who would project their moods on to me like dark clouds making me feel low and alienated. People who wouldn’t include me in situations for merely having a boyfriend or because they just “didn’t think to”. For months, I could never understand why. Was it me? Am I not cool enough? Am I no fun? Do I have major resting-bitch face making me unapproachable? What have I done wrong? Truth is you’ll never get a real answer. My guess is either they are completely unaware or they enjoy making people feel bad because deep down maybe they’re just not quite happy with their own life…
My brother James always told me I was more of an Earl Grey – I have no idea what that means but maybe he’s right. Because I’m never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. So, if it means having a small circle of close friends rather than a big group of FAB’s (fake-ass bitches, shout out to JoJo) then so be it. Not everyone is going to like me and that’s OK. It’s about learning to not be so affected by other people’s actions, not take it personally and try to find a way to block it out. Because when you think about it, would you really want people who could treat you like that in your life anyway? Nah.
Realise that everyone is different, and what your morals and values are might be very different to theirs. So be kind, be gracious and make time for your real one’s.
This year I plan to unapologetically be me and see who sticks around. Because they are the one’s I’ll be toasting with into 2018.
4. Don’t wish your time away
OK this one is a short one I swear. But don’t you find yourself constantly needing to look forward to something? Whether you’re booking your summer beach break or pencilling in a weekend away to see your uni mates, you get so excited and literally can’t wait until that day. You get your countdown app, you post 38 more days left, wahooo! and slowly end up wishing the days away.
This is something I did a lot in 2016. And I decided it was time to start living in the moment more. Be spontaneous, enjoy the little things and stop wishing my time away when time is so precious to begin with.
5. Communicate
I’ve been guilty of bottling my emotions most of the time and people who really know me will say I’m strong on the outside yet sensitive on the inside. But when you’re in a relationship, not communicating can be detrimental. The little things end up being HUMUNGOUS things and it’s a downwards spiral.
Usually I avoid communication to avoid confrontation. It makes me feel so bad and uncomfortable to say something which might hurt the other person. But sometimes, it’s necessary.
I learned that so many horrific arguments with my boyfriend, friends & family could have been avoided if I just communicated right from the beginning. People need to learn your boundaries. And if you don’t speak up for yourself people will start to take advantage of that. Don’t let it happen – nip that shit in the bud there and then and move on.
6. Your health along with self-care is so important
The older I get the more I learn about my mind and body, what it needs and what happens when it doesn’t get it. When I eat crap I feel sluggish and gross. When I don’t work-out my mind feels anxious and racy. And when I don’t take time out for myself I start to feel low and uninspired.
Last year I learned that it was OK to say no to things and instead take some well-deserved time out for myself. Run a hot bath, light candles, listen to my favourite music, go for a drive, write; all the little things that make a happier me. That’s self-care. Just like your body needs exercise so does your mind and soul.
In 2017 I vow to continue self-care and to make sure I put effort into feeling more highs than unexplained lows like I did in 2016.
7. Parents aren’t always right
This is a hard one to talk about. Despite me wanting to get more personal on my blog so you guys get the chance to know me a bit better, it’s close to home and in all honesty, still a bit raw. I will say this though, parents don’t always make the right decisions when it comes to their children. Personally, I think that’s partly because as you grow older they’re not sure how to adapt.
When you make mistakes, you are reprimanded by your parents. But as you grow older and wiser, when your parents hurt or disappoint you, who do you turn to?
Me being classic me I bottled up my emotions and allowed an uncomfortable situation to continue which eventually ate me up inside. I couldn’t sleep and I just felt like hiding away. But like anyone, I reached my limit and grew tired of feeling alienated in my own home. What’s meant to feel like a safe-space felt more like a prison filled with tension.
It took a real intervention for a breakthrough to happen and even though it was emotionally draining, difficult and extremely uncomfortable it needed to be done. When you’re an adult living in your parents’ home it’s always going to be hard. But sometimes it’s important to know that parents don’t always get it right, they make mistakes too.
It’s important to stick up for yourself and tell them how you really feel, no matter how difficult or scary it may seem. They may choose not to listen, they may choose to apologise straight away. But ultimately I learned for the sake of your relationship, it’s important to express yourself and the issues you have so you don’t end up carrying around any hate in your heart.
8. Learn to let go, you can’t control every little thing
Hi my name’s Karina and I’m a control freak. I LOVE to know things are in order and plan most things in advance. I’m one of those awful people who checks the restaurant menu and chooses a meal beforehand.When things go wrong I tend to overthink it until my breathing is very Darth Vader-esque and I’m afraid of the unknown.
I’m aware of all these things. I was even more aware of all these things when I was buying my house with my boyfriend. I’d stress over the stupidest little things and I look back now and think God Karina you really wasted a lot of energy worrying about all those unnecessary things.
I can be impulsive and spontaneous when I want to be but that usually happens when I’ve had around three spiced rum and coke’s. So this year I want to try and let go, let flow without you know, becoming an alcoholic. Because in all honesty, ain’t nobody got time to be getting greys and frown lines from overthinking irrelevant shit. Time to let it go.
9. Stay in your lane and stop comparing
A lesson that’s still a work in progress…
We all know how easy it is to look at what the next person is doing and how well they’re doing it. You immediately start to doubt your own abilities, strengths, beauty and what for?
When I started to blog a year ago I was so excited! I finally had my own little space on the internet that I could call my own. Nobody could tell me to change anything; I could write whatever I wanted.
Soon enough I became obsessed with looking at what other bloggers were doing and how my blog looked and seemed like a piece of crap compared. Not only did these bloggers look like incredible models but they wrote like professionals.
Whenever I feel this way I try to remember that everyone’s journey is different and comparison is the thief of joy. It’s important to stay in your lane and concentrate on you because at the end of the day the only competition you have is you.
I learned it’s easier and much nicer when you sincerely route for people and wish them well. So, I will continue to route for anyone and everyone succeeding because you know what, it doesn’t take away any of my own accomplishments or make me any less of a person. Be nice to people and work hard. And remember not everything is as it may seem on the outside…
10. Confidence in 2017 is key
Early 2016 was the time that I really lost my confidence. From comparing myself to others and skinnier me back in 2015 it’s no real shock as to how I lost my confidence really.
I come from a family of extraverts yet I found myself shying away from situations and purposefully fading into the background. This eventually really got me down, it wasn’t me.
I felt like I didn’t have anything to say when blogging because I was afraid of what people might think or say. I found myself playing down my accomplishments because I didn’t want all the attention to be on me. And I certainly didn’t want people to stare and judge.
But how could I be so stifled? Hiding away was stopping me from growing or achieving any of my goals. Also, I’m hella EXTRA and PROUD dammit.
It’s time to forget what people think and stop putting so much pressure on myself to look or act a certain way. As you can tell from this blog post I fully own my personality, flaws and all. So if people don’t like it, feel free to email me at idontcare@do-one.com
If you’ve made it to the end of this blog post I could literally bear hug you! I feel like I could go on but I’m aware this blog post is already way too long.
What lessons have you learned from 2016 that you’ll be taking into 2017? I would to love to hear if any of this resonated with you…
Karina x
Velvet dress | Keepsake The Label (sold out, similar here & here)
Shoes | Zara (old, similar here)
